PrimeTime
by RamenKitty
Summary: Anakin has a little fun with a Jedi Holonet television...
1. Default Chapter

Inspired by the great people who write television shows…we love you great people who write television shows! The super bowl is copyright whoever owns it except, " Humiliate yourself for pennies" which was one that I picked out of a book…

And all Star wars characters copyrighted " George Lucas." Don't own um, never will, so suing me is pointless. 

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Title: Primetime 

Timeframe: uh…during the Jedi temple sequences in TPM…assuming that they might end up being there for a little while… way AU…

Category: humor

Summary: Anakin has a little fun with a holonet television-

Question to ask: Do they " Have" entertainment television shows in the Star Wars universe?

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Anakin Skywalker was bored.

            Padme was busy, not to mention everyone else-

He turned the final circle in the game he was playing and plopped down on the floor.  Although Master Qui-Gon and that guy Obi-Wan had business with the council, they hadn't left him anything to do-

Suddenly, he heard something.

            Opening the door a crack, laughter echoed down the hallway he could see the faint liquid cool glow of a holonet television.  Several persons were clustered around it like frog moss on the backside of a dewback-

Another gale of laughter echoed around the room.

            He sighed; desperately wishing he were out there with them wasn't the same as _being _there.  After all, Master Qui-Gon had said, stay put and-

He grinned, he didn't have to _leave _the Jedi temple, he could just say, _walk _down the hallway to where the group of children his own age were sitting-

            Making up his mind, he closed the door and proceeded to run like a little maniac down the hallway.  He appeared in a very large room, obviously someone else's quarters, filled to the brim with children.

They stared at him.

He stared back.

            " You New?" the owner of the room, obviously Obi-wan's age, Anakin thought, spoke up.  

" Sort of." Anakin had met his types before, running about his hometown.  Now, he figured, would be the best time to make friends, " Are you _supposed _to have holonet televisions in here?"  He pointed to the television and made the older boy wince.

            " Technically not." A younger girl near Anakin spoke up, " But whilst the cat's away poor Brent here brings out his holonet and…" she let it trail off as she shrugged, " we watch." She held out a hand, " Jeta Hun." Anakin shook it.

            " So…how is it that he lets you guys watch for free?" Anakin asked quietly, since that was the last thing any of his friends would have let him do, " I mean why isn't he charging you?"

            The girl called Jeta began to laugh as the sixteen-year-old Brent walked away swiftly into his room. 

            " He used to charge us," a boy said, " But then Toby and Hasten caught him watching the Hutt "Commercial" channel-" Anakin Frowned, then remembered some of the Video that they had played in the less " Pleasant" parts of home…

            The reception was fuzzy and a little out of focus.  As near as he could figure, it was two people slinging mud at each other-and a host-yelling out.  However, the reception was so bad, that what should have easily been translated into basic, was simply indescribable fuzz-

            " What are we watching?"

A large child with large green tentacles said something.  

            Jeta leaned over to him, " Loosely translated that means, " Humiliate me for Credits." She sighed, " I miss my house, where we could get more then one channel and better reception!" Brent Hushed her and Anakin looked up at the antenna crudely placed on top of the TV.

            " I bet." He said, " I bet that if we tweaked this…just a little bit.  We could get TV from other worlds-" it was more then that.  Suddenly drawn on by some strange desire, he stood up, and began to fiddle with it.  There were shouts from behind him, and angry cries, but he was in the zone-

            As sometimes happens with Fate, things get very peculiar.  In a particular planet, so far away from anything civilized in Galactic standards, a current television broadcast caught onto the signal that the tiny antenna was now admitting, being drawn across light-years, it finally hit its destination-

---------------------------

Anakin was blown back from the television, landing smack Dab on Brent's cot.

            Loud stereoscopic music blared from the television as the words " Super bowel 34 echoed across the screen." 

            " Hey!" Jeta stood up, " The new Kid's all right! He got us something like…" she paused and watched the opening moments of the game, with a large brown ball, shaped like a diamond, " Smash ball! Alright, the new Kid got us otherworldly smash ball!" 

Loud cheering echoed around.

            " This calls for snacks!" Brent was in his element as he stood up over the other Jedi children, " Who volunteers to sneak past the council and go get snacks!"

Like most children, who are deprived of good commodities for a very long time, many were willing to do or die against the adults.  For a brief moment, it was as normal children are, us against them…

            Brent quickly selected the cutest of all of them.  He sat Anakin beside them as the little six, seven, and eight-year-olds toddled off.  The ones to arose the most sympathy if caught…

            " You all right kid." Brent slapped Anakin on the back, " You'll go far here."

----------------------------------

Qui-Gon was not in a good mood.

            Neither, for that matter, were the council, or his Padawan.  Things weren't going as well as they could be, especially regarding the boy-

Suddenly a loud noise echoed outside the chamber. 

            The door creaked open to reveal a very small six-year-old girl, carrying an overly large back of food.

            She let out a pitiful kitten-like mew and attempted to struggle back up with food in tow.  She didn't notice the stares from the council until she had stood completely up.

            " What doing are you?" Master Yoda's voice was calm as the girl flashed an absolutely adorable smile.

            " Hungry!" she rubbed her stomach in a symbolic gesture, " Need…food!" she pointed to the bag and grinned again.

            " See through you, we can." Master Yoda pointed at her, and she whimpered.  Suddenly, a nearby eight-year-old, lugging a box of fizz pop, saw an opportunity to do a good deed.

            " Renn!" he lugged his box over, " Renn, the greatest pardons masters." He bowed very low, " My sister and I were extremely hungry and thirsty-" he felt the power in their stares and continued, " And we, rather then bother our caretakers, decided to help ourselves." He scooted his sister out from their stares and bowed again, before bolting out of view.

            " Precocious children are." Said Master Yoda, before he could say anything else however; a steady stream of six, seven, and eight year olds interrupted him.  The stream was interlaced with Padawan who were carrying cushions, pillows, and all sorts of other things.

Remarkably, NONE seemed to notice the stares of the Jedi.

            " Precocious, children are." Master Yaddle said, " Check on them, we must." 

" Indeed." Mace Windu said quietly, " It looks like about half the temple is going down this hallway…"

            Qui-Gon, presence thankfully forgotten, thanked the force that his Padawan had outgrown many of these foolish tendencies.

            " Presence not forgotten Qui-Gon." Yoda's voice this time, as each member of the council proceeded out the door in a single file line, " Discuss this later we will." Qui-Gon nodded solemnly as he and Obi-wan fallowed them out. 

            Down the hallway, a steady stream of unregulated, wasted, food created a very visible trail.  A man, in a uniform saying, " Speedy Hutt deliveries" was counting credits on a DATA-Pad in front of a door.

            " What doing are you?"

He looked up, and then began to sweat.

            " The kid, he ordered a pizza, paid with Credits…figured there was no trouble-" he grinned nervously, " Always wanted to deliver a pizza here, you guys give the best tips!" 

There were no smiles.

            " Uh, yes well, got to be…uh, moving on!" the pizza guy bolted, tripped over a mound of something chocolate, then proceeded to run even faster.  The Jedi council watched him go, then, Mace Windu turned the knob very slowly…

-----------------------------

Anakin was having the time of his life.

            Lying beside his newfound friends, the others clustered around the foot of the cot, in windows, and basically out of every nook and cranny.  Some of the older padawans were even practicing their levitating, he couldn't wait to learn how, but the people who had brought farm animals to sit on were getting annoying and-

The door turned very slowly.

The door began to open

Every single child in the room froze.

            Several adults, least among them the small green ones, were staring into their merriment.

------------------------------

Obi-wan couldn't believe it; they'd gotten away with something he'd wanted to do for YEARS.

            Several children, Padawans and older ones included, were in the room.  Looking at the sheer scope of everything, he could believe that Master Windu's estimate of half the temple wasn't wrong.  Food was EVERYWHERE, and he heard a thump as two Padawans who had been levitating (obviously to make room for floor space) collapsed.  Three children had even brought in very large farm animals! (The force _knew _where they got them) and were gorging themselves on almost all the food in the kitchens.

Then he saw the boy.

            " Hi…guys…" everyone in the room looked at him, obi-wan, speaking as a veteran of these sort of battles of popularity and such, knew that he was making a choice that would mark him as a good person to know for the rest of eternity, " he grinned again." Want some pizza?"

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Meant originally to be a one shot, but I think I'll add chapters.

Pleaseeee! Read and review.


	2. Internet time

Wow! People desire more chapters! * Gasps*

Okay, I've decided to call this little project, " Anakin Skywalker, and his misadventures with various electronic devices! Hooray! *

Okay: Star wars blah, owned by GL, suing pointless, blah man. Oh! But don't you dare steal Jeta Hun, Brent, or large green tentacle kid! Those are copyright me! *Unless, by some bizarre quirk of fate you have characters named those names, in which, I'll apologize profusely. 

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Title: Chapter two: Anakin the wannabe techie. 

Timeframe: uh, a year after TPM.

Summary: Anakin Skywalker travels all over the galaxy via the amazing holonet! 

Idea: based on all those great peoples who've done Star wars Chat fanfic…

Question: What sorts of seedy characters REALLY lurk on the Courscant holonet? And do they have those gosh darn pop-up windows? Why? 

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Anakin Skywalker had been here for a year and he STILL found the place boring.

          After the entire " holonet television incident, he had been punished accordingly…but now he seemed to have one the respect of his new Master…obi-wan kenobi…

Who, fortunately, was out at this particular moment

Anakin grinned.

          Quickly, he unfolded the portable computer, pressed the power button.  Later in life, he would know how to speed up the familiar dial tone, but for now, he was stuck, like ordinary mortals, waiting.

And waiting

And waiting

          Finally, before he slumped back into his chair, dead at the tender age of 11 from being bored to death, it clicked on.

At last!

          He danced over the keys with a speed rivaled by few slicers in all the systems, his mind raced, his fingers danced…

WELCOMETOPLANETCHAT!

PLEASE SELECT A PLANET.

Anakin paused and pondered the list for a while.

YOU HAVE SELECTED YAVIN 4

PLEASE SELECT A SCREEN NAME. 

Anakin paused again, and typed, Chosen1;) 

WELCOME CHOSEN1;)

CHOSEN1;) HAS ENTERED REBELLOVERCHAT.

MILLENIUMXX: hey kid! This is a restricted chat!

FARMBOY456: yeah, buzz off! L

I'LLBEYOURPRINCESS: this is a restricted rebel alliance chat, please exit now or be terminated by the spy satellite circling over your head. 

Several other people, all with the name "Rouge" attached to their screen names, and all who seemed to hate him immensely immediately assaulted Anakin.

Rebel Jerks he muttered, logging himself out of Yavin four, What are they rebelling against anyway? 

WELCOME TO PLANETCHAT CHOSEN1;)

PLEASE SELECT A PLANET.

Anakin scanned down the list of names again, suddenly spying a familiar one.

CHOSEN1;) HAS SELECTED NABOO. 

KittyzareCool13: hi ani.

Chosen1;): *gasps* Hey.

KittyzareCool13: What's up?

Chosen1;): how'd u know it wuz me?

KittzyareCool13: …

Chosen1;): never mind.

KittzyareCool13: too late, gtg.

Chosen1;): Aww, why? 

KittzyareCool13: Cpt. Panaka has a bee in his butt.

Chosen1;): LOL. ^_^

KittzyareCool13: email me! RoyalPalaceKittyP@NabooMon.gov.net

Chosen1;): okay!

KITTZYARECOOL13 HAS LOGGED OUT. 

Anakin did the same. 

WELCOME TO PLANET CHAT CHOSEN1;)

PLEASE SELECT PLANET. 

Anakin thought for a moment, then typed the one that had been bugging him this entire time.  He was amazed over, to be met with several very large pop-up screens. 

BUY BUTTER BARS!

JABBA CASINOS! ON NAR SHADDA! COME NOW!

CATHER PETS, BUY ONE OF OUR CHILDREN.

He found himself disgusted.

CHOSEN1;): PLEASE SELECT CHAT. 

Anakin frowned, and the light from the windows began to dim. 

BUSINESS MARKETCHAT 

SMUGGLER;)

XXXNOTFORKIDDIESCHAT

DARKSIDELOVERSCHAT

TPPJTCHAT

DAILYLIVESCHAT

IMPERIALSENATEONLINE

JCCHAT

INTERNETCAFE.

He paused and scratched his head, amazed by the sheer volume of communication on Courscant alone.  For a moment, he was tempted by the DARKSIDELOVERCHAT but decided to start out small…

CHOSEN1;) HAS ENTERED INTERNETCAFE

Fangirl99: x-box rules!

IloveLotr: yeah yeah.

(Fangirl99 slaps ILL) 

MrSPooky: has anybody seen Mrs. Spooky?

Fangirl99: no. 

Aragronisgreat: yeasir, I haven't seen Mrs. Spooky! She is my harem slave!

(MrSPooky: has slapped Aragorn is great)

Spockman: Aragorn, you're too poor to have a harem

Aragornisgreat: aha, but I dooo!

(MrSPooky: has repeatedly slaps Aragornisgreat)

IluvHorses: I'll take over Mulder.

(Iluvhorses has dragged Aragorn is great away)

Fangirl99: drama

Chosen1;): anybody wants to chat?

Fangirl99: u like X-box?

Chosen1;): what?

Fangirl99: BLASPHEMER! He does not know of the great X_BOX!

Chosen1;): * is confused*

IloveLotr: Don't listen to her, she rambles.

Fangirl99: I lug u X-box!

MrSPooky: has: has anybody seen my beloved Mrs. Spooky?

Spockman: I think she left man.

- MrSPooky: has has exited chat-

-Iluvupikachu has entered INTERNETCHAFE-

Iluvupikachu: anybody like Pokemon?

Spockman: go away ash.

Chosen1;): this is too bizarre.

Spockman: Leave now before its too lattee!

- Chosen1;) has left the room-

Anakin sat back, tried the BUSINESS MARKETCHAT, and found it filled with robots.  He decided to try IMPERIAL SENATE ONLINE.

CHOSEN1;) HAS ENTERED IMPERIAL SENATE ONLINE.

NabooS: Chosen1;) this is a private chat.

AlderaanS: hey wait Palpy, he can stay, if he likes to hear u, a pompous old windbag wag on himself

CatherS: *giggles hysterically*

KayssakS: the honorable senator from Kassyak agrees with the Honorable senator from CatherS.

TradeFedS: hey, leave old Palpy alone!

BespinS: hey, is u on 2 chats Palpy? 

NabooS: STOP CALLING ME PALPY!

CatherS: Aww common on Palpy.

AlderaanS: yeah, it's all good.

BespinS: so, did anybody see when Chancellor V's assistant dropped that holo inscriber?

CatherS: Bees, you have a sick mind.

BespinS: yes, but she has a large ass! It was amazing!

NabooS: Someday Bail, I'm going to get u back for that Palpy remark.

AlderaanS: hey, you and what army?

NabooS: my imperial army and me.

AlderaanS: * is confused*

NabooS: * quickly* uh, forget I said that.

- Chosen1;) has left the chat. -

Anakin promptly tried DAILYLIVES CHAT, and found it was just two people, Firstofthenew-Dragon, and JadeVonsker, telling each other how much they liked each other.

Anakin hated mushy stuff, unless it was Padme….

He shook his head. 

He looked at DARKSIDELOVERSCHAT and decided that Obi-wan would probably ground him if he went on. 

CHOSEN1;) WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHAT SUGGESTIONS?

Y.

ENTER HOBBIES.

Anakin thought for a moment, then when yet another pop-up screen appeared (why?) he thought, he began to type.

PLANETCHAT CAN SELECT THE CHAT FOR YOU!

JUST TYPE IN THREE INTERESTS AND A HOLOCARD #

He grimaced and moved to close the window, he had no holocard.

THE FOLLOWING PLACES HAVE PRE-PAID HOLO-CHARGES

IMPERIAL SENATE

BLOCK3432

JEDITEMPLEONLINE.

Anakin smiled, and kept the window open.  It wasn't against the rules to use the planetchat account at the Jedi temple, although he had no idea why they would have one….

He shook it off.

CHOSEN1;) DO YOU WANT CHAT SUGGESTIONS?

Y

PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING.

What are your interests?

Anakin paused, then typed.

1: The force

2: Pod racing

3: fighting

He frowned at the answers, but decided to keep them, since he could think of nothing, other then pod racing, he had been allowed to do in his short life.

Are you married?

No…

Are you a child?

He resented that one as he typed, " yes."

Do you like large furry Wookies mating with Dewbacks?

The response was an emphatic NO!

Mother's maiden name:

That one was odd.

After he thought for a moment he typed " Skywalker"

CHOSEN1;) WE HAVE YOUR CHATS!

BUT FIRST…

WOULD YOU LIKETO APPLY FOR A PLANETCHAT NET CARD?

No.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO APPLY FOR OUR DATING SERVICE

Not in a million years

CAN YOU OFFER ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT?

No MORE pop-up windows!

 HAVE WE SERVED YOU WELL TODAY?

No!

CHOSEN1;) WE HAVE YOUR CHATS:

TPPJTCHAT

SMUGGLER;)

ROUGEONLINE

JCCHAT

Thank you for your time.

Anakin glanced at the holoclock on the wall.  He had maybe 30 minutes before Master Kenobi came back.  He blinked, got up, got himself a drink, and sat back down, deciding to try two of the chats.

CHOSEN1;) has entered TPPJTCHAT

Chosen1;): Anybody wants to chat

IluvAnimals32: depends…* pauses* omg!

Chosen1;): Wha?

IluvAnimals32: ani! Omg! Guys its Skywalker!

EveryFemjedidream: hey, it's Skywalker! Okay!

Tentacles: hi.

Chosen1;): * is confused*

IluvAnimals32: don't you remember? It's Jeta!

EveryFemjedidream: And Brent.

Tentacles: and me.

Chosen1;): NO WAY!

Tentacles: yup

IluvAnimals32: this is soo cool! ^_^ I didn't know you had an account-

- EveryFemjedidream restrains IluvAnimals32-

Chosen1;): Actually, I used the Temple's account.

- Chartroom silence, fill it fast; otherwise it'll self-destruct. -

IluvAnimals32: we aren't supposed to do that.

Tentacles: moron.

EveryFemjedidream: we're allowed to use the Holonet regularly loser.

Anakin stared at the screen in disbelief 

Chosen1;): uh oh.

IluvAnimals32: uh huh.  Gtg, Master Rain just got back.

-IluvAnimals32 exited chat-

Tentacles: I should go too, I'm going to meditate for a while

Chosen1;): have fun.

Tentacles: Thanks -_-;

- Tentacles has exited the chat-

Chosen1;): guess its just u and me Brent.

EveryFemjedidream: yeah.

Chosen1;): what's with the Chat title?

EveryFemjedidream: The Padawan Pondering Jedi Temple Chat, or something' like that.  Ask Jeta later. Gtg.

Chosen1;): Aww, why?

EveryFemjedidream: grounded, later.

Chosen1;): later, this hasn't been my day for chats.

-EveryFemjedidream has exited the chat-

Anakin grimaced, if he was in trouble, then he was in big trouble.  In a last ditch effort, he logged onto the last chat in progress on the site.

CHOSEN1;) HAS ENTERED JCCHAT.

Lil'greenDude: Welcome Skywalker we do.

FastasWind45: indeed.

Chosen1;): * gulps visibly*

TallHeadGuy: have talk we must….

Lil'greenDude: in trouble you are.

Chosen1;): *gulps* Moi?

KenobiMonkey: you had better believe it.

Anakin grinned, despite the fact that this was his second grounding at the Jedi temple, he had been wondering, why Master Kenobi had been gone so long.  

Oh, he was in the for the chat of his life. 

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CHOSEN1;) HAS LOGGED ONTO AUTHORCHAT

Chosen1;): where is she?

BB32: who?

Chosen1;): YOU! YOU KEEP GETTING ME IN TROUBLE!

BB32: * shocked* moi?

Chosen1;): What are you trying to do!

BB32: it'll be funny, trust me. * Thinks* maybe, next time I'll have you mess with a microwave…

Chosen1;): help me Obi-wan Kenobi!

BB32: isn't it supposed to be " help me GL oh great master of my universe?"

Chosen1;): no, obi-wan, he isn't happy with u…

KenobiMonkey: Kenobi Monkey? What the hell…

BB32: Gulps.

KenobiMonkey: U forgot to put that in astrals.

BB32: gulps again.

Chosen1;): u in trouble…

BB32: you're still grounded.

- Chosen1;) has exited chat-

-BB32 has exited chat-

KenobiMonkey: Don't encourage her! Don't read her fic! She's evil!

- KenobiMonkey has exited chat-

Muhahah! Read and review. Also, any suggestions on what sort of appliance Anakin could mess with next would be appreciated.


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